Acting Like the No More Excuses Energy Act is Not an Act

by: rich

Wed Jul 02, 2008 at 00:09:31 AM EDT

According to his own blog, Rep. Tim Walberg (R-Drill, Drill, Drill) pumped gas for some Delta Township residents on Tuesday.

If you’ll notice from the pictures, Rep. Walberg didn’t really do the whole Politician Rolling Up the Sleeves Thing like a Good Politician Should. You know the kind of photo ops where a politician stands around in rolled-up sleeves surveying the destruction around him or shoveling something. The whole point is to make the politician look like they’re doing some work on behalf of the citizens.

Walberg didn’t even bother to roll his sleeves halfway up the arms like a professional. In this case, he looks like he’s either doing the talking about how there are no excuses for high gas prices or the nodding as the driver complains about high gas prices. (None of the cars appear to be of the fuel-efficient type.)

But the real fun, people, is imagining what he is saying to the recipients of his pumping services. Join me below the fold.

“Give me convenience or give me death!”

“Give me cheap gas or give me death!”

“I like to drill. Do you like to drill?”

“Jesus built my hotrod.”

“Well, look at that: we’re both wearing blue shirts.”

“Do you want me to wash the windows, too?”

“Pumping is kinda fun.”

"My hand hurts from doing this." 

“Honest to God if I could, I would put an oil derrick in my own backyard.”

“Sorry ma’am, I can’t pay for your gas. But if you find five people who like to drill who in turn find five people who like to drill...”

“I know the oil in Iraq was supposed to bring down gas prices, but there have been a few problems with that.”

"The Surge is working. And with my bill there will be a surge in oil. A Real Surge. Big Surge. Soon...In fact, I'm feeling a surge right now!"