This week in Scientific Illiteracy Theatre

by: Eric B.

Sat Sep 19, 2009 at 10:52:00 AM EDT

Hey look, Magic Frank is implying that environmental regulations are a way for government to take over the auto industry. Okay, he's less implying it as he is outright saying it.

Under the new guidelines for decorum in the U.S. House, Rules Committee Chairwoman Louise Slaughter, D-N.Y., has advised members that their free speech should exclude terms like "liar" and "hypocrite" in referring to statements by President Barack Obama.

So I'll refrain from using those words about the Obama administration's latest auto fuel standards.

Obama repeated at the GM Lordstown, Ohio, plant this week that he doesn't want to "manage the auto companies." Yet, this is exactly what his administration is doing in its effort to force Americans to drive the cars that he and his supporters want built.

If by "manage" the auto companies, you mean establish federal regulations that would apply across an entire industry, you'd be onto something. On the other hand, if by "manage" the auto companies, you mean any reasonable interpretation used by normal people regarding to specific decision making by private industry, well...

Meanwhile, Magic Frank gets to the bottom of this dark conspiracy by government to seize private enterprise, waving a white gloved hand over an upended top hat, saying, "Abracadabra," and pulling a rabbit out.

Instead, Obama and his surrogates continue to emphasize a reduction in harmless carbon dioxide emissions and a presumed reduction of oil imports.

(Polite applause ... the "carbon dioxide to fluffy bunny" transformation is to a Frank Beckmann column what "Take my wife, please," was to Henny Youngman.)

Meanwhile...

more...

While the tailpipe emission changes are arguably insignificant, the oil argument is even more specious.

The U.S. Geological Survey reported in 2008 about a massive oil source -- 3.65 billion barrels -- under North Dakota and Montana. Other oil is available in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and under water in the outer continental shelf.

Exploiting these resources would drastically reduce the U.S. dependence on foreign oil. But while claiming to have consumers in mind, Democrats bow to pressure from environmentalists and block the creation of additional gasoline supplies.

Hmmmm ... interesting. If only oil weren't a global commodity of which the world uses about 85 million barrels a day. If only the USGS report hadn't said that the 3-4 billion barrels in the Bakken formation are recoverable according to current technology, and not a reflection of what might represent reserves economically recoverable. If only American oil consumption weren't 20 million barrels a day, which means if we waved a collective white gloved hand over an upended top hat and said, "Abracadabra," and made it all appear at once, we'd have half a year's worth of oil. If only oil reserves, under normal circumstances, didn't take a decade to reach full production and spread output over the span of decades. If only reality didn't matter. If only, if only, if only.