Hilarious responses to non-controversial inquiries

by: Eric B.

Fri Jul 16, 2010 at 13:00:50 PM EDT

Tom Stillings, a teabagger running in the 1st Congressional District, received an endorsement process e-mail that starts:

Greetings, I hope this finds you well! 

Uh-oh, something tells me this isn't going to end well.

My name is Luke Canfora, I am the State Political Director for the Michigan SEIU State Council. SEIU is examining your race in preparation for an endorsement and would like to give you to join us at a member meet & greet in Marquette. Our process is member driven, and this will give you a chance to speak directly with our membership regarding your campaign and vision.

...

We look forward to reviewing your candidacy and wish you the best of luck in your campaign! To RSVP or if you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to call me at 517.xxx.xxxx* or email me at this address! 

Well, now he's done it ... gone and invited a candidate for a so-called "meet & greet," and wished him luck. How does Tom Stillings respond to such obvious provocations? According to a press release the Stillings campaign is circulating, thusly:

more...

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your solicitation. At first, I was somewhat confused at receiving it. It was then that I realized that you obviously know nothing about me.

Please allow me to enlighten you. I am your worst nightmare.

I am a firm believer in the Right to Work, and a strong proponent of Right To Work Laws. I abhor your actions in working with SENATOR ALLEN to use the force of state government to steal the hard earned dollars of those who provide care for the elderly.

Your union's thuggish tactics in support of a failed president's attempt to socialize our nation are symptomatic of a disease that true conservatives such as I will soon cure. If there is any justice left in this world, your organization and others like it, will in the words of a truly great American, "disappear into the dust bin of history."

In short, please know that I would NEVER entertain or accept any endorsement or assistance from an organization such as yours. I hold the S.E.I.U in absolute contempt. You are a major player in an effort to destroy the character and capability of the greatest nation ever to have existed on the face of this planet.

Enjoy Marquette. Like the rest of Michigan, it is truly a fabulous place this time of year, or any time for that matter.

Please be sure to say "hello" to Senator Allen for me. Since your event is the one place he can be sure I will not attend, he may take advantage of the opportunity to appear.

Sincerely,

Tom Stillings
Candidate for Congress
Michigan 1st District

The stuff in bold? I did that, although you'd be forgiven if you maybe thought that the candidate himself was responsible.

*--Redacted for privacy reasons.