Coming to an e-book store near you on Columbus ... err Leif Erickson Day ... White Power!

by: Eric B.

Mon Aug 16, 2010 at 12:08:13 PM EDT

Stop me if you're heard this one ... a small band of heroic heroes have a heroic truth, but an evil cabal of evil evil-doers seek to -- in evil fashion -- crush the truth under the Mighty Evil Jackboot of Evil. With untruth and evil. But, the heroes press on in heroic fashion, and stuff happens. In the end, evil itself is crushed under the Mighty Truth Combat Boot of Truth. Sounds an awful lot like the very formulaic plot of that Michael Crichton science fiction novel that "exposed" global warming as part of a Bolshevik plot. But, it's also the formulaic plot of a book Kyle Bristow, ex-leader of a racist student group chapter at MSU who has launched a blog that appears dedicated to promoting his own book. Here, from one of his first posts, is the synopsis.

In [Title Forthcoming], a rogue anthropologist teams up with a proponent of the Solutrean Hypothesis and a fiery lawyer in order to reveal to the world the shocking truth that carries immense cultural, political, and racial significance: 17,000 years ago, white people immigrated to North and South America from Europe, and when the Amerindians arrived by crossing the Bering Strait roughly 12,000 years ago, the latter subsequently and systematically murdered the former. The powers that be will do everything that they can to prevent this controversial theory from being espoused by the trio, and during this action-packed, historical-fiction thriller, the epic adventure will take the advocates of historical revisionism from the forests of southeastern Michigan to a federal courtroom in Ohio, from the busy streets of Washington, D.C. to an Amerindian reservation in Virginia!

The Solutrean Hypothesis is the white Anglo version of the same story at the fringe of lots of ethnic empowerment movements ... that they, not Columbus, really discovered America*. In this case, it was a bunch of dirty Frenchmen and dirty Spaniards who made the crossing during the last Ice Age. Those persons, proponents of this theory claim, were later murdered by the Asians who crossed over up by Alaska because the Asian people were savages who hated the Europeans for their freedoms and splendorous technological advances. Needless to say, one of the arguments for the lack of evidence to support this theory (there are similar technologies, but there end the connections) is that it was all destroyed during the crossing.

Bristow's history of bashing Native Americans is long and documented, but just in case you're still not entirely convinced what exists at the heart of it ... I give you this post that starts with a human sacrifice scene from a Mel Gibson movie as evidence of the barbarity of Native Americans.

The Amerindians practiced cannibalism and human sacrifice, had no writing system, had not invented the wheel, and they never made it to the Bronze or Iron Age. There is no Amerindian Wagner, no Amerindian Shakespeare, no Amerindian Rembrandt, and no Amerindian Aristotle, and the available empirical evidence can only lead one to rationally conclude that the Solutrean Hypothesis accurately depicts history: Amerindians murdered the real Native Americans--the Solutreans.

This is our land. It is time we take it--and our culture--back!

I ... see.

*--I read that there are some Irishmen who believe that the Irish were the first here, although it'll be a tough sell convincing many people that there've been enough sober Irishmen through history to pull it off outside the possibility of making a wrong turn in a storm while drunk navigating**.

**--Just kidding. I'm a quarter Irish, and my grandfather was a New York City police inspector in Coney Island***.

***--My Irish blood actually comes by way of Welshmen who joined Oliver Cromwell to put Ireland to the blade****.

****--If you think this is offensive, you should have been in Bunratty Castle the night the meade-drunk plumbing parts salesman from Indianapolis stabbed a 'tater with a steak knife and hoisted high in the air to toast the Irish Potato Famine.