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Climate denier Friday (1 of 2)!: Fried Chicken Frank

by: Eric B.

Fri Jun 27, 2014 at 09:25:48 AM EDT

Special programming note: The coffee had barely started to cool this morning before people started sending in links (well, one person with one link) about people saying the stupidest things imaginable about climate change. Then, I went to check out Fried Chicken Frank's column, and found that he'd written an entire column of even stupider things about climate change. My morning thus ruined, I can only retaliate against you people. On this, I swear my revenge.

Oh hey, it's Friday, which means Fried Chicken Frank has another opportunity to share what kinds of things you can do if you eschew a college education ... like have the slightest idea of what you're talking about when you weigh in on important issues of the day. Today ... climate change, the very thing that first brought Fried Chicken Frank's bumbling intellectual incompetence to its celebrated status.

Unable to convince the country that the Earth needs saving and that they’re the people with the ability to do it, climate opportunists/alarmists scaled back their game plan this week to include a new strategy.

This is a nod to all of you who believe that less is more.


Eric B. :: Climate denier Friday (1 of 2)!: Fried Chicken Frank

Faced with an economic report that was about to show a 2.9 percent drop in gross domestic product (GDP, a key economic indicator), President Barack Obama and his band of gloomy climate scaremongers introduced us to a new one — climate change is now a threat to the U.S. economy.

This is a rare occasion, perhaps the first verifiable fact in any Fried Chicken Frank column ever ... and it's even accurate! Gross domestic product is indeed otherwise known as GDP, and it is a key economic indicator.

I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself from the belly laugh over this latest scam in a movement full of fraudulent claims to enjoy a moment of relief for mankind.

The path to wisdom lies along the road of dismissing new ideas without examining them or considering their underlying arguments.

Finally, the alarmists have stopped with the phony premise that mankind’s very existence is jeopardized by an increase in CO2, and are only concerned about climate’s effect on the economy.

Climate scientists are now arguing that rising carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere trap heat?

This should come as good news.

It would certainly be news alright.

At last, we’re safe from the bigger concerns that the planet is being destroyed by our use of SUVs, air conditioning and jet travel.

You're especially safe from those concerns if, like Fried Chicken Frank, you pretend that they don't exist.

Saving a planet that is irreparably damaged — as the alarmists have told us has happened because we haven’t addressed the dangers of CO2 emissions in time — is such a big job, even for the wizards of smart in the church of environmental religion, but saving the economy? Now that’s a possibility.

Finally, we get to the nut of this dastardly conspiracy: Al Gore abducted the economy.

You’ve got to hand it to Obama and his fellow snake oil salesmen — they are creative, if nothing else.

Like Benghazi.

This latest initiative, called “The Risky Business Project,” uses all the usual ruses employed by the imaginative alarmist crowd, more frequent heavy storms, rising sea levels, melting arctic ice caps, and, of course, catastrophic temperature increases.

They are so imaginative that they've gotten the planet to go along with them.

You can talk to them all day about the reductions in heavy storms over more than a decade, the lack of sea level rise, the actual increase of Arctic ice cover, and the 17-year hiatus in global temperature rise, but they won’t want to hear it.

Because all of those are 1. irrelevant, 2. not true, 3. a red herring, and 4. cherry picked data that is also not true.

You can point out, as Steven Goddard did at his website called Real Science, that alarmists have fraudulently changed the temperature data from years past to falsely show a more recent warming trend — the real numbers show the 1930s as the warmest years in the U.S. — and Obama, et al, cover their ears.

Alas were it known as North and West Hemisphere warming rather than global warming.

But now, with just an economy to save through carbon taxes and elimination of coal production, Obama’s crew has got a more realistic issue.

The phrase "non-sequitur" comes to mind.

Of course, they also have one that makes the proponents of Risky Business even more wealthy.

Do tell.

In addition to former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson — yep, the guy who forced banks to accept TARP loans even if they didn’t want them — the Risky Business group includes none other than Tom Steyer, the billionaire California environmental activist who’s buying up Democratic party candidates wherever he can.

Dun, dun, dun. Satan rears his ugly head.

Steyer has pledged at least $100 million in donations to Democratic Party candidates if President Obama will block the job-creating Keystone Pipleline.

Which is how you know he's lying.

Both men have been coming through on their promise, with Steyer even pledging $400,000 to the campaign of his Michigan lapdog, Senate candidate Gary Peters, who recently pledged fealty during a visit to Steyer’s California mansion in a meeting arranged by Peters’ other puppet master, Harry Reid.

That is a dizzying array of strings in the air above Gary Peters ... or perhaps they've figured out a way to go wireless.

But as is the case with the so-called scientists who warn of cataclysmic climate change, one need only follow the money to determine the true motives of the alarmists.

So-called scientists with their so-called educations, doing their so-called research and publishing what they find in so-called journals subjected to so-called peer review.

The science crowd gets more taxpayer funding for its continued “studies” of climate change, while people like Steyer — and Al Gore before him — stand to gain financially as well.

Yes, if only climate scientists paid for their own equipment and research from their own pockets, and weren't professionals with advanced educations, we could believe them.

In Steyer’s case, he and his former hedge fund company are invested in a firm that is competing with the Keystone pipeline to transport Canadian tar sands oil.

This is how you know that climate change is a hoax.

Yes, Steyer has been involved in all sorts of fossil fuel investments to make his fortune and he now seeks to grow it through destruction of the traditional fuel industry and government subsidy for his new favorite green projects and investments, all with the help of Peters and other politicians he supports.

Yes, influence peddling and money in politics does occasionally lead to shady circumstances. It's probably okay with Fried Chicken Frank when "traditional" fuel interests do it, however.

The Risky Business people are right about one thing.

A more trenchant paragraph you'll never read.

Man can save the economy, but not by changing the weather.

I don't know. I understand there's serious capital that's interested in getting behind a weather changing industry. I understand that insurance people especially are hoping to invest in it to mitigate future losses from rising seas and more extreme weather patterns.

He can save it by reducing government interference in the free market, by spending less on redistributive handouts to legal residents and those who reside here illegally, and he can reduce it by cutting spending and the national debt, which Obama has driven up to $17 billion with the willful complicity of Washington Republicans.

Man can do this. Man can.

Bottom line, we leave this week on a note of relief.

Yes, Fried Chicken Frank has once again removed all doubt that he is the worst opinion columnist in the state of Michigan. The Detroit News, which does not pay him for his work, is getting its money's worth.

Driving our SUVs and using the air conditioning this summer no longer threaten the very existence of mankind.

Nor do sock puppets.

I know I’ll sleep better this weekend.

Ignorance is bliss.

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Eric, I give you so much credit
for not only having the stomach to read drivel like this, but for having the tolerance and humor to give it the proper attention it deserves.  

Thank you!


He ruined my morning coffee...
[ Parent ]

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