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Republican with weird fetish un-drops out of state House race

by: Eric B.

Fri Aug 08, 2014 at 10:18:50 AM EDT

And he rises from the dead.

SAGINAW, MI — Less than one month after announcing he was quitting a race for state representative, Republican Jordan Haskins says he plans to re-launch his campaign.

"I'm jumping back in," Haskins said. "I was just taking a break and thinking about some things."

And let it go forth to all the people in all the lands ... in the Year of Our Lord 2014, did the Republican Party allow to be as its standard bearer in the 95th District a man previously convicted of breaking into a public vehicle lot and jerking off to a sparking motor.

Eric B. :: Republican with weird fetish un-drops out of state House race
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Vanessa Guerra
Although I don't know the newly-minted Democratic nominee personally, she cuts an impressive profile -- and is only 24 years old! I look forward to seeing her political career progress.  

Great Lakes, Great Times.

Anyone who votes for this guy is basically saying, "Sure, he's got a rap sheet and acts in very weird ways - but at least he's a Republican!"

Now on Great Lakes, Great Times, Great Scott: Cotter vs. Jesus and Reagan

This guy gives "auto-eroticism" an entirely new meaning
Sorry, couldn't resist.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.

I see you're a good environmentalist
You recycle.

Greetings from Detroit, Ground Zero of the post-industrial future!

[ Parent ]
I figured that if he can make a comeback, so can I
But I'll add some original material. Rumor has it that the background music for his auto-erotic episodes was Joni Mitchell's "Court and Spark."

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.

[ Parent ]

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