| When last we checked in with Chuck Moss, the unfunniest state representative to ever hold the chairmanship of the House Appropriations Committee, he'd invented an encounter with a local community's event beer tent door volunteer in which he bored to tears the guy comparing the guy's job with that of the local elections clerk checking IDs for entry. The takeaway of this, you see, is that illegal immigrants think that fraudlently voting is nearly as cool as underage kids think illicitly drinking beer is (the one, of course, is a real problem and the other is an invented one; just as the one is a Constitutional right whereas the other is allowable in state law only under specific circumstances). This time, he cleverly steals a character name from Mad Magazine and insists that geese that lay golden eggs are job creators who don't really need food, security from foxes, and a place to do their business. "The goose says it's scared of foxes. Until it's secure, it can't recommend our place to anybody else." So Fonebone and I hired a security guard. Next day there were two geese. "This is great!" I said. We added the profit after the week's two eggs and found a healthy balance. Two more geese showed up and then another. We fixed up the house, bought new cars. Then the first goose waddled up. "Wak wak wak." Fonebone grimaced. "They say there's a farm over west of here offering special grain and a swimming pool." "Damn," I said. But we built a swimming pool and hired a lifeguard, plus a cook staff and an on-site vet. Everything was working out fine, and then we were invited to an employee's meeting.
At the end of the thing, the geese go Galt because they don't like paying for the amenities they demanded in the first place, saying they were going to take their wealth and go elsewhere. How they planned to get their golden eggs to the market, and how they would even find a market for their products, is a question the author never thought to ask. Somewhere in there, for no apparent reason, Barack Obama demands that everyone use not gasoline but a fuel made of goose food. |
